Do you notice that some couples really have a wonderful connection with each other? They are attuned to the nuances of each other’s moods and have a level of tolerance for their partner’s emotions that others who grew up in an emotional dismissing home may not have. As the outsider in this couple bubble, you feel very comfortable in their presence and for me, it is a delight to experience.
Other couples may come in to my office and long for this securely attached model of relationship where there is a close bonding but they end up feeling as if they are roommates over time. They feel a sense of loneliness which can be quite profound when you are in a relationship. Research lets us know that a felt sense of loneliness is experienced in the body as physical pain.
It is interesting to me that individuals or couples tolerate this state in their relationship for a long time – often for years before doing something about it. We have so much great reserach that gives us some simple skills to make changes for the better in our connection with one another. You can do this as an individual or as a couple. You can seek out counselling or you can learn these skills online. I have put together a researched based set of connections skills that I know can make a big difference, if you consistently use them. Give your relationship the kind of care that it needs, or at least as much as you do your car care! You can find more information on this site for the “Relationship Reboot” Course. I hope it serves you well.
