Lots of families are heading out on vacations over the next month or so. Sometimes these vacations turn out well and sometimes they don’t. Most of the challenges are about hidden expectations. One person wants to have mostly a relaxing time, with unplanned adventures. The other person wants a planned vacation where the most is made of the time available. Unfortunately, they do not voice their expectations to each other in a way and at a time that they can hear each other. Set aside the time to talk together and don’t just talk about the logistics of the vacation, when you are leaving and returning etc. – we are good at that. At the minimum explore what each of you are thinking and feeling in the following ways.
- What do you want from this vacation that is very important to you?
- How do you want to feel when you return home?
- How much alone time do you want – how much connection time do you want?
- How much effort do you want to put out? Ie. How often to eat out or eat in or?
- How much money do you want to spend?
If you have kids:
- What were you thinking might be good for the kids?
- How much travelling time at once?
- How can we make the vacation a time that meets their needs as well?
- How will we help each other with the kids?
The other part of vacation time is your relationship. Decide together:
- Will we set aside some time to talk about issues we have difficulty making time for in our regular life? If so, how can we block that time out and make sure any negativity does not bleed into the rest of the holiday?
- Will we commit together to make all efforts to be positive on the holiday in order to create a wonderful holiday memory? For instance, don’t sweat the small stuff, let things go.
- Will we commit to not becoming the Bickerson’s on the holiday and leaving arguments for another time?
- Will we make efforts to connect with each other? Touching, handholding, checking in, meeting each other’s eyes while listening, making love etc.
- Will we commit to sharing our gratitude for what our day holds every day?
- Will we create moments of shared laughter together?
You can think of lots more. Planning for success means you are much more likely to have it! Talk about these things together and more that pertain to who you are on holidays. Have fun, take time to nurture your soul. Go forth and be wonderful!
Sending you love and encouragement – Lynda
