When you are telling yourself the story of your relationship, what parts do you pick out? When I am listening to couples who are mostly well but are coming to counselling in order to get through a certain issue in their lives in this moment, their stories are positive and filled with life. For couples who are basically not doing well, their stories are filled with negativity. Yet when examined, their actual life stories can be quite similar, with the usual ups and downs of a long term committed relationship. It is mostly what parts of their story that they are focussing on.The cost of reviewing your relationship in a never ending loop of negativity stretching back years is that you increase your own personal pain as well as your partners. Find something positive to focus on today – it will have great rewards physically, emotionally and relationally! Go forth and be wonderful!
