Empty Nest Looming

It is typical for me to see at least one part of a couple (most often the woman) in counselling when the children are grown and about to leave home. If she is coming to see me, she most often feels a sense of restlessness and often the long term committed relationship has lost its element of friendship and connection. The day to day of the kids, their activities and their care has taken a toll on the relationship. There may be an affair that has been discovered. There is often a sense of not fulfilling their life purpose. If this describes you and your relationship, it is definitely time to make some changes, BEFORE the affair. If possible, go away with your partner for a weekend and have the purpose of taking stock of your coupleship. Envision a future together that focusses on life-giving goals and events. Perhaps you will decide to go somewhere and contribute to building houses for others who are less fortunate, as my friend does each year. Perhaps you will experience another country in an exchange program, perhaps going on a sabbatical from work, learning another language and culture. Take responsibility for your own malaise without blaming the relationship. Make your own changes as well as working at adding life to the relationship itself to resolve this transition of life.